30 Signs Your Partner is Cheating on You (Both Subtle and Obvious)

Must Read! 30 Signs Your Partner is Cheating on You

Sad as it is, we live in an imperfect world where happy endings don’t quite exist. Romantic love can stand the test of time with effort, but it’s not at all easy–not everyone is lucky enough to experience it. Committing to only one person for the rest of your life is a challenge. Have you been feeling suspicious of your partner lately? Maybe you need to look into it more to determine if your hunch is right. Here are 30 signs your partner is cheating on you:

They Go Out Without Telling You

If your partner suddenly disappears and you have no idea where they might be, that’s a red flag. Even if they tell you later on, like they went for drinks with friends or had an unexpected appointment at work, often doing this is shady. 

They Look Different

Does your partner spend more time than usual grooming themself? Did they get a new haircut or start wearing new clothes they never liked before? Unless they mentioned or somehow expressed their plans (even subtly), they are probably having an affair.

They Act Weird

One of the most obvious signs your significant other is cheating. They don’t act like their usual, normal self. They might be anxious, irritable, angry, or overly affectionate. When doing usual activities together, they might look pretentious as if they are hiding something. They might even talk differently.

You Can’t Reach Them

If their phone is unavailable out of the blue, especially for hours, your S.O. must be somewhere they don’t want you to know. Moreover, take note of their excuses. If what they say doesn’t align with anything true, watch out.

Their Friends Seem Uncomfortable Around You

You never experience anything off when you meet your partner’s friends…until now. Maybe they can’t hold eye contact with you like they used to. Maybe they try to change the topic everytime you ask them about your partner. Your gut tells you something’s not right.  

They Don’t Show You on Social Media Anymore

It may be a not-so-obvious one among the top signs your partner is cheating, but having a social media account that looks as if it’s owned by a single individual is a cheater trait. Sure, they may say it’s for work, but if they aren’t using a business profile and often post attractive pictures of themself doing things available people do, you should be wary.

They Use Their Phone More Than Usual

Another no-brainer. If you catch your S.O. smiling at their phone while typing or hiding it away when you come near, it could be a sign. Many people cheat online. If you ask them who they’re talking to and they say it’s nobody or just a friend, you have to find out if they are telling you the truth.

They Have Developed New Interests

Having new hobbies and passions are normal. But if your partner says things like, “You know I’ve always wanted to go hiking, right?” when they clearly don’t have the heart or ability for it aren’t normal at all. They probably got their new interest from someone else. Be careful not to overlook all possible signs your partner is cheating.   

Your Relationship Issues Are Suddenly Gone

The things you always fight about don’t seem to appear anymore. Either your S.O. is being indifferent toward you or being fake (acting too nice), this sign is not good. You might think they have finally changed or you’ve both gotten over your issues, but that might not be the case. Problems can only be resolved with mutual effort and proper communication. 

They Talk Too Much 

Are you having a hard time recognizing signs of infidelity? Know that some people are capable of pretending so much so that their behavior is squeaky clean or subtle enough for you not to notice anything. One subtle sign is talking too much. You ask them how their high school reunion was and they fill you in on every single detail, down to the most insignificant things you don’t even need to know.

They Don’t Share Details

On the other hand, your S.O. may not say a word about what happened while they were gone. You won’t hear anything more than “It was great” or “Nothing special”. They might be trying their best not to expose themself or are simply not prepared enough to speak their untruths. This is another one of the most obvious signs your partner is cheating.   

You’ve Become A Lot Less Intimate with Each Other

Though you always find ways to spend time together despite busy schedules, you now barely do. You might only get to have once a week. You might not even touch each other anymore. If you discover no other reason behind this, your partner may be using up all their energy in someone else’s bed. Sexual and physical intimacy are very important in a romantic relationship.

You Have Sex More Often

If instead of less, you’re actually having more time between the sheets than usual, this may still be one of the signs your S.O. is cheating. Missing you after being away or a sudden increase in libido is far different from such out-of-nowhere behavior, especially if they are trying new moves they’ve never done before. They might also do it out of guilt, knowing they sleep with someone else.   

They Accuse You of Cheating

Because of their guilt, your partner may do this to keep the focus away from them. They are probably afraid to be caught at fault. All they can do is manipulate you and hope that they get to have you under their control. If your partner accuses you of cheating, you can toss the question back to them and see how they react. 

They Always Ask About Your Schedule

Is an important event coming up? Unless there’s something special like a birthday or an anniversary you need to celebrate, constant asking about your schedule is strange. Your S.O. might be planning their own secret schedule and figuring out how they can best avoid your suspicions. Again, remember to take note of all possible signs your partner is cheating–from the most subtle to the most obvious ones.   

They Easily Get Defensive

You only asked why they came home so late but they’re already fuming: “I told you I haven’t seen my best friend for a long time,” or “You think I was with a girl/guy?”. They must be so anxious that they instinctively have their guard up the moment you question them.   

The Word “Cheating” Makes Them Flinch

A person who has an issue with a particular topic will definitely react when they see or hear anything related to it. For example, talking to them about an acquaintance recently caught for cheating might make them all worked up. They might even change the topic entirely. One of the most common signs your S.O. is cheating is them getting triggered by the word cheating itself.

You Fight Regularly

Guilty people usually find it difficult controlling their emotions. They can lash out anytime, even over silly stuff. When they get into an argument, they make things worse. If your partner is always picking a fight with you, their guilt may be overtaking them.

They Are Secretive About Their Finances

Are you wondering why your S.O. is suddenly mum when it comes to their money? Why are they spending more than usual and not telling you anything about it? You may have no idea where their money goes because you don’t see any new purchases or they are merely cashing out. There aren’t many clues. If you really can’t find signs your partner is cheating, don’t forget that you can always seek assistance.  

They Often Work Late 

Too much overtime, especially when you know it’s not a busy time for them in the office, is a huge red flag. You need to ask their colleagues, boss, security, or anyone else you know and trust. Don’t easily believe excuses, especially with the slightest hint of lying. However, make sure first if your radar is right before you jump into conclusions. 

They Go On Business Trips A Lot

If your partner is not really a workaholic or always in-demand at work, they shouldn’t have many business trips. You can find out for yourself whether they are indeed meeting people for work or not. Going to vacation spots for more than a few days is very questionable. This is one of the clearest signs your partner is cheating on you.

They Keep Bringing Up a Friend’s Name (Or No Longer Mention It)

Do you always hear a certain name from your S.O.? It’s normal to talk about someone you know, but doing so for a number of times can be weird. We often speak much of anything that fills our mind. For instance, your partner may mention this “Alex” as much as they mention their favorite celebrity. On the contrary, you may not hear about a specific person anymore. Your partner may even avoid conversations related to them. 

You Don’t See Their Laundry

Taking care of their own laundry may seem thoughtful, but may also be one of the signs your partner is cheating. Keeping their dirty clothes out of your sight is worth wondering about, especially if you haven’t seen such garments for months now–not even a peek. You might only get to see those they’ve worn at home, not those they wore the last time they were out.

They Use “I” More Than “We”

When you’re committed to someone, it’s natural to include them in almost everything you do. You imagine them with you in places you wish to visit in the future and doing things you plan to do together. However, a person who’s not fully committed tends to see only themself in the picture (“I’ll live in New York someday,”). It might be time to check before you get cheated on.

They Give You So Much Affection

Whether they are aware or not, your significant other may make up for their hidden infidelity by showering you with attention. They might begin randomly pointing out your best features mid-conversation, cooking your favorite meals everyday, or regularly reminding you how much they love you. If your partner is doing something wrong behind your back, they may consciously or unconsciously hide through exaggerated affection. As you continue to see signs your partner is cheating, you’ll realize the many different ways of an unfaithful person.

Their Mood Swings Are Getting Worse

You’re the victim of your partner’s changing moods. No matter what you do, you can’t help them control their feelings. You’ve never seen them so moody before. Maybe they weren’t even that moody at all. You probably have nothing to do with it. Psychology has proven that shame can mess up a person’s psyche. If your partner might be filled with guilt and greatly troubled by how much their secret life doesn’t align well with reality.

They Ask What You’d Do If They Ever Cheat

Sometimes, you can tell right off the bat if someone is asking you a question for fun or curiosity alone. If you have a strong gut feeling that often turns out to be true, you might be able to sense when there’s more to a question. Those who try to see what reaction they’d get by asking about infidelity are subtle partners. Moreover, if you add such a sudden inquiry to other possible signs your S.O. is cheating, you may get a revelation.  

You See Missed Calls From An Unknown Number

What you might often only see in dramas can happen to you. Yes, it’s not always a wrong number. Some are even clever enough to use different numbers to cheat. Try answering the unknown call or contact the number using your own phone while your partner is not present.

Surprise Visits Annoy Them

Regardless of your significant other’s love or hate for surprises, they can’t get mad at you for no particular reason. What’s more, if they are in a bad mood or say they are too busy every time you come unannounced, you may need to dig deeper. Unnecessary negative reactions to a simple surprise visit is one of the subtle signs your partner is cheating. 

They Miss Out On Family Gatherings

Regular absence in important events is very shady. Unless your partner doesn’t jive well with your relatives or they work on the road most of the time, they can’t be M.I.A. Take note if they have reasonable excuses or are merely using the same old alibis. They might be taking advantage of your absence.

signs your partner is cheating

These are the top signs your partner is cheating on you. Can you relate to any of them? It can be hard getting your S.O. to say the truth, even more so if you don’t have any proof. You may have to seek help. However, you should first make sure that they are cheating on you. Communication is important. There might be other explanations behind their behavior such as personal problems, mental health conditions, misunderstandings, and other issues. Once you’ve ruled out any other possible reason, you can finally take action. A cheater is a cheater. You shouldn’t allow them to hurt you. Commitment is a serious matter. No one can say they are loyal while they secretly cheat. No amount of excuses or feelings can justify that. A lot of people cheat and get away with it, but they don’t deserve to. No one has the right to hurt someone. Don’t be afraid to seek support and move forward. You deserve to be free from any form of harm. A healthy relationship involves trust and unconditional love.

you deserve love

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Written by Hannah Grace

A B.S. Psychology graduate who fights both real and imaginary shadows every day with music and words.

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