How You Can and Should Really Love Yourself: 3 Simple Steps

“Love Yourself” is a popular phrase you see or hear anywhere from books and quotes, to songs and celebrity interviews. Although that’s the case, not everyone lives it out. Some people mistake loving oneself to vanity while others can’t or don’t do it for different reasons. Without self-love, you are incomplete. You can’t truly love and you can hurt yourself and whoever’s around you. Trouble finds you more because you’re an easy target. Regardless of the whys, you can love yourself. Here’s how:


Before love happens, acceptance comes first. Couples who have been together for years wouldn’t have made it if they didn’t accept each other’s shortcomings. In the same way, you can’t love yourself if you don’t embrace every part of you–the flaws, scars, strengths, and vulnerabilities. Acceptance only follows understanding. You must understand that some things are out of your control like negative experiences caused by people and nature. Moreover, you must let go of past wrongs, even your own. There’s no starting over without moving on, just as there’s no love without acceptance.


Care goes hand in hand with love. These are a few points to help you care for yourself:

  • Look after your health – both physical and mental. Keep your mind and body in good condition.
  • Improve your inner voice – don’t let anyone label you, including yourself. Calling names like ‘ugly’ and ‘worthless’ is never right. Fill your internal dialogue with words of affirmation, e.g. ‘You’re strong. Keep going!”
  • Forgive yourself – it’s not always your fault and when you mess up, remember that nobody’s perfect.
  • Rest – take a break. You can say no when you need to. Prioritize your well-being. 
  • Do what you love – develop your interests. Hobbies such as cooking, hiking, and dancing empower you. 
  • Pursue your goals and make new ones – chase your dreams. You have time to accomplish them and to dream more. 
  • Trust yourself – you can’t love and trust others without loving and trusting yourself first. Have faith in your abilities.


You’re as human and as significant as everyone else. Stop listening to damaging words spoken by you or another wounded soul. When you’re stuck in the dark corners of your mind, remember your worth. When you feel incompetent, remember your talents and achievements. Look at your fingerprints. You are unique. You are the only you in this world. Treating yourself any less is a crime, and pulls you farther away from love.

Loving yourself may not always be easy to do, but it’s so important that you should commit to it. You truly live when you know how to love who you are no matter what. Even life will have a hard time getting you down. Because of self-love, you can’t stay on your face after a fall–you’re too busy embracing yourself to have a ‘pity party’. If you struggle to love yourself, ask for help. Family, friends, counselors, and therapists are just within your reach. Don’t give up. Though it may seem hopeless, it isn’t. The person you need most in this fight is you.

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Written by Hannah Grace

A B.S. Psychology graduate who fights both real and imaginary shadows every day with music and words.

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